just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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