So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
