:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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