Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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