Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
