my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
