You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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