I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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