im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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