Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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