You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
