Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
