Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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