Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
