Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
third nipple confirmed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
