the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
