rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
