Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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