Your tits are I can't wait for
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
