why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He kissed a someone with a penis
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
