So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
