Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
