I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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