I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
