I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
