you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
