All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
