Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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