remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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