dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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