I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
