Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
