Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs