So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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