I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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