If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
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Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?