I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
