Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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