apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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