I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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