y did u give ur computer a hand job?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Randomize
