I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
