I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he was CRYING into my vagina
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
