Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
