Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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