Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
