idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
