you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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