My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
