I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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