I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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