he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
no more duck duck goose at the bar
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
