Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
