I wanna passion pit in your ass
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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