I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
