before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
