I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
