Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
