I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
