How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
