ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.