DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.