it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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