when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
