I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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