aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
