you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize