I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize