1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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