Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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