stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
