I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my being single is dangerous.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They have beer where we have blood.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
