Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
