I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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